Chatty Taxis

Hello all! Here I am, returning to bring you yet more long overdue anecdotes about my life in the middle country.

So, I've discussed transportation with you all before. Mostly it's buses and taxis. Since my discovery, and mild profeciency, at using China's relpy to Uber (Didi), I am finding myself often resorting to calling a privately owned car to take me from point A to point B. Using a private car is a bit cheaper than the often affordable taxi alternative, and waiting to see if a fancy car arrives or a sensible sedan arrives to fetch you can be a pleasant surprise.

Lately, I've found myself (on the odd outing during the week) picked up by social drivers, drivers who are excited or interested by the idea of shuttling around a foreinger and want to pump me for information through the art of casual conversation. Luckily for you, I happen to have 2 recent encounters with this breed of driver which happen to be kind of entertaining. Enjoy.

Driver #1 - "8 or 9?"
Two weeks back I had the spontaneous inclination to meet a friend for coffee after work (oddly enough, she had a similiar, if not slightly more mild experience with a driver that same night). The nearest coffee shop was a Starbucks about a 20 minute drive from my room. I ordered a car, who phoned me before he arrived (as is custom). Most of the time drivers simply call to ask where you are, but this driver wanted to tell me something else...and of course, I didn't listen before talking.

*in Chinese*
Driver: "I'm 5 minutes away."
Me: "I'm at the gate"
Driver: "Ok...I'm 5 minutes away. Bye."

I always assume that when a driver talks to me before seeing me, he should be tipped off to the fact that I'm not Chinese (my limited language skills, accent, and misunderstanding of information usually tip them off). Within 5 minutes a small black car arrives with a young (not bad looking...) guy in the front seat. However, his face when I open the door assurred me that my ethnicity was a pleasant surprise. As soon as I got in the back seat and shut the door he begins to bombard me with questions, all the while looking like he just discovered gold in his backseat.

*also in Chinese*
Driver: "Oh! What country are you from?"
Me: "America."
Driver: "OH! America! Where do you work?"
Me: "...here. *pointing at the school we are still in front of* Baishan School. I'm a teacher."

He preceeded to ask me how long I'd been in China, if I taught big kids or little kids, and what grades I taught. At this point I'm beginning to get a bit nervous. My Chinese skills are quite limited, and after about a 5 minute conversation I begin to run out of things to say. I was nearing this point. What usually happens at this point is I go into panic mode...aka, I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep until I arrive at my destination. Yeah, I know. Childish...but effective.

His next question totally threw me off. I didn't understand every word he used, but he kept repeating, "8 or 9." He really wanted to communicate with me because he kept repeating the question and gazing at me occasionally in the rear view mirror. After the 4th attempt to ask me, I heard the word that means years. It clicked. He was asking me if I was 28 or 29 years old. I laughed and answered no. I was 24. He made a noise of surprise, and then told me that he thought we were around the same age (he was 28). I told him that I was a baby and thought that was the end of the conversation. I was wrong.

After several seconds, he locks eyes with me in the mirror.

*you guessed it, Chinese*
Driver: "You're beautiful."
Me: *awkward laugh* "Uh, thank you..."
Driver: *still locking eyes* "All Americans are beautiful."
Me: "not every American..."  

I'm pretty sure I recieved the compliment mainly because I have white skin. But, aside from the slightly awkward moment, it was a pleasant ride. He even told me at the ride's conclusion that he was happy to have driven me. What a nice guy.

Driver #2 - "Pew Pew!"
This second driver, a kind man old enough to be my father, also from Didi, drove me home after a movie (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them!). I shared the ride with a friend. We enjoyed a pleasant conversation until she arrived at her stop, which still left a 25 minute ride for me. It is important to note that my friend is an American with amazing Chinese skills, and our driver didn't say a word to us while we both were in his car (leaving my friend and I to talk).

As soon as my friend exited the car and shut the door, the driver began to ask me questions. Yes, of course the first one was where I was from. If I had a dollar for everytime I was asked this...well let's just say those student loans would start looking affordable.

This driver was quite social and quite patient. He asked questions slowly or would repeat a question if I wasn't familiar with a few words he used. Ultimately he was friendly and seemed earnest in wanting to converse with me. We talked for the entire 25 minutes. And yes, I was extremely surprised by this length of time too. But, he made it easy (or as easy as one can make it when conversing in a language at a kindergarten level) to keep the conversation going.

Things he asked me:
1. Where are you from?
2. What does your dad do?
3. Do you have a younger/older brother or younger/older sister?
4. Does she live in China?

After about halfway through his questions while we were waiting for the light to turn green at an intersection, he half-turns around from the drivers seat and asks me, "Do you have a gun? All Americans have guns." Fun fact, I don't know the word in Chinese for gun, however it was extremely clear to me that he was asking if I owned a firearm because as he talked, he raised his right hand into the shape of a gun, and after asking the question, he pulled the imaginary trigger on his "handgun" and said "Pew Pew!" I found this to be a mixture of cute and funny. Noticing my amusement, he proceeded to fire this gun a couple more time during our ride.

I started asking him some questions about his life, and learned quite about my new friend. He is one of 4 children. He is a local who is married with 2 daughters (a 5 year old and a 12 year old). His oldest daughter is learning English and doesn't like it. He is the only person in his family who has a job (his wife stays at home). He likes America because the air quality is better than in China (less pollution).

Towards the end of our trip, he tells me I should get a Chinese boyfriend. I told him I don't have one, but that's not a bad idea. And, I have some coworkers who would be happy if I did. Then, I explained that I had a American boyfriend last year whom I met at work.

Then, to my surprise, he asked me where I worked. When I told him the name of the school he repeated the name in the form of a question and looked confused. This mildly concerned me. I looked at him and said, "it's where we're going now..." Well, luckily that certainly cleared things up for him, and I was at the school within 3 minutes.

When he pulled in front of the school, his final words to me were a phrase that his wife likes to tell him in English, "I love you." After he stopped the car, he turned around again and laughing, half-shouted these words at me. I laughed and told him in Chinese that I also loved him. Fun night, fun guy. Plus, can't beat that Chinese practice.

It's actually quite popular, and even encouraged, for foreigners who want to improve their Chinese skills to take a taxi and start a conversation with the driver. Many drivers, like mine, welcome this notion (whether it's because they are social, curious, or bored). An engaging and sociable driver can leave you with a good story and some new and interesting insight into the life and culture of whatever country you happen to be visiting. It might start off awkwardly, but most great stories do.