Super Predictable

Who hasn’t, at one point or another in their lives, wanted to be a superhero? Yeah, if you answered no, you’re a liar, and you know where liars go…home. They go home.

The superhero franchise is quite marketable, and is currently raking in cash, hand over fist might I add, in several countries around the world. Names like DC and Marvel are worth more money than most of us will see in our whole lives. I guess they’re doing something right, huh?

As someone once said, “Stan Lee is taking more money from nerds than any school bully ever could,” and I’d wholeheartedly agree. Not only are heroes gracing the silver screen, but we now have the glorious convenience of internet and television heroes: Daredevil, Green Arrow, and Flash to name a few.

“Is there a point to all of this?” Life? Pencils? This post? Yes to all three my dearest readers. While providing a cinematically thrilling outlet for me to direct my spare time and energy towards, hero shows in particular, have been educating me about the various aspects of television that are so repetitive, we could even develop a drinking game guaranteed to waste the person foolish enough to embark on this challenge within the first 8-10 minutes of each episode.

Either I’m overly confident (or as I’d liked to say, “just that good”) or there is some truth to these points. You be the judge.

Take a Shot if...

       1.       Someone claims to know who is at the door and is wrong

This is my all-time favorite repeating aspect. Oh yes, almost every time you announce the person at the door you’re wrong in a shocking “I-wasn’t-expecting-to-see-you-again/ever” or “Hi-I’m-here-to-put-a-bullet-in-your-skull” kind of way. Bottoms up.

2.       The protagonist’s love interest gets kidnapped or is in grave danger

You love her? Well, let’s see how many times you’ll be there to bust her out of harm’s way.

*Bonus shot if it’s her fault for getting captured/attacked/maimed.

3.       The quirky sidekick makes a weird/awkward remark

*Enter comedic relief during potentially emotionally charged moment.*

4.       The closing shot reveals a plot twist

“Hmmm, how can we boost ratings and/or guarantee that these same nerds will tune in again next week? I know! What about a…”

5.       There is a dinner party/business meeting filled only with an unrealistic amount of attractive people

Let’s face it, most people don’t look like actors/actresses, so this one’s not really a surprise. But, hey, I guess when you watch a superhero movie or show realism can’t be too high on your list of priorities. 

Believe me yet? Have I gained some street cred? Maybe that wasn’t the best choice of words. Well, I do possess some, but that’s a story for another time. Do they bleep out expletives on this thing? Now I’m rambling.

Back to the point. I love superhero lore as much as the next kid spawned by a comic book nerd, who not only raised me on Star Trek but had a Quaker Oatmeal container full of action figures, accessories, and a light-up model of the U.S.S Enterprise. So no, I’m not claiming to be anything less than 50% nerd…and that’s just genetics.

The basic point? Well, now I can’t seem to recall it. But I guess if you’re pleading for some purpose to this post (alliteration!) I must say that I’ve been quite entertained, educated, and enthralled (more alliteration!) by the superhero universe. Yup. That’s about it.

Sorry if I gave an overrated amount of attention to the closing argument of this post. This was merely something interesting I wished to share with my fellow nerds. If you have too much self-respect to associate yourself with this group, then please lift your nose aloft and move along dear chap. 

Ta ta now.