A Whole New World

Hello one and all! 

No, I didn’t fall off the edge of the world. If you want to be technical, I dug a hole straight through the earth and ended up in China…obviously.

Needless to say, quite a few things are different over here. In fact, there are so many misconceptions/unknown things about China that I’ve decided to dedicate my first post towards correcting some of these misconceptions. Don’t feel bad, I was wrong too….boy was I wrong.

1.     The Traditional Asian

Yes, when an American usually thinks of Asians the first words to come to mind are: short, slanted eyes, and good at school. Upon further inspection (you know, using my 20/20), I’ve realized that not all Chinese people are short.  Maybe 50-65%. Let’s just say, in one shopping center last week I saw a woman in her 20s who was 6 feet tall. Sorry to pop that bubble.

Also, not all of them are good at school. Yes, there is a ton of pressure for Chinese students to perform well academically, but this doesn’t always happen...shocking right? I’ve only been a teacher for a little over a week, but just trust me on this one. I’ve seen their grades.

2.      Bathrooms

Ok, I knew that bathrooms were different in China before I got here. Yes, I’d been warned. However, the toilet culture is so weird I feel that I have to try to (as my dad would say) paint you a picture.

Not to be crass, disgusting, or vulgar, but can I just say that camp has done so much to prepare me for the Chinese “squatty potty.” Yes, it’s exactly how it sounds. My apartment has a western toilet and there are a couple for use in the school, but everywhere else in China has this urinally-shaped porcelain creation that lies on the ground for women to use when “nature calls.” I was first introduced to this lovely device when I arrived at the airport in Beijing, and we’ve been close ever since (actually only 2 times in the past week in case anyone really wanted to know…I’ve been feeling kind of western lately).

Also, most bathrooms don’t have toilet paper. And paper towels? Psh, forget it. At school, every student and teacher has their own roll of TP sitting on their desk, and when they have to use it, they nonchalantly (and I’d like to imagine, proudly) carry it to the bathroom with them. Did I mention that the bathrooms don’t have doors? (Bathrooms themselves…there are stall doors.)

3.     Driving, Traffic, & Parking

So you think you’ve seen some bad traffic? Think you know what bad driving looks like? *insert incredulous maniacal laughing* Yeah, I thought I did too until I came to China. Most roads, unless under construction have 4 lanes, but people drive wherever they stinkin’ want to. Seriously, busses, taxis, cars. They all dodge, weave, and blare their car horns all the time. In fact, the car horn is the sound of the Chinese people. If you don’t hear a car horn at least once every five minutes, no one is on the road. I’m not exaggerating. And traffic? You can sit in your car for hours if there is an accident on the road. You know how in America if there’s a wreck you are encouraged to move out of the way of traffic until the police arrive? Here, it’s the opposite. You’re not allowed to move until the police show up. So, you might be sitting for a while. 

Oh, and parking? So, you know how there’s so many people in China? Well there are so many cars that belong to those hundreds of thousands of people that it’s normal to see cars driving and parking on the sidewalks. If you park on the sidewalk and block another car in, it’s cool. You just have to place your number on your windshield so that the other driver can call you when they’re ready to leave so you can let them out. Crazy, huh?

You have to be an aggressive driver to make it in China. No one will let you pass them. Cars will keep driving, with or without you in their way. (That’s what horns are for) Oh, and you know how pedestrians have the right of way? Not in China. Even if the “walk now” sign is lit up, if a car wants to go, it’ll go. Within my first week here one of the older teachers was crossing the road with me and didn’t run fast enough. She was literally standing amidst cars rushing by her for at least 4-5 minutes before there was a gap in the flow. 

Basically the cardinal rule for China driving is, “if you don’t feel like you’re about to die, you’re doing it wrong.”

4.  Hot Water

Let's just say that instead of ice water, they bring you hot water at restaurants. If you want iced or room-temperature water, you have to request it specially. It's odd, but you get used to it after a while. In fact, it can be quite comforting.

Ok, that’s enough for today. There are tons of other things that I could say, but what fun would that be? I have almost 2 years to blog about my life here in China, so what’s the rush? I promise that this white chick will have some more fun tidbits of info and stories to share with you in the coming weeks.